(a)
Welcome New Students!
Here at this school we always do our best in everything we do. The standard for the students here is to always give it your all. Nothing less is expected. But, this school is also all about enjoying your high school experience. As long as you try your best and have fun with it, high school will be a blast!
The Journey Starts Here
Your whole life is ahead of you and it starts here. High school is one of the most important times in almost anybody’s life. The lessons you will learn here will stick with you for the rest of your life. High school is also incredibly important because it sets up your future. Getting good grades and staying out of trouble will set you up for life after this place. It is important to always remember to do the right thing, it will play a magnificent factor in your future.
Setting an Example
At this point in your life it is important to grow. Instead of maintaining the immaturity of young age, this school will help you become a leader or role model. That is the goal at the end of the day, to become the best person you can be. This school will set that up for you, but the rest is on you. The decisions you make today will determine tomorrow.
Life After High School
One of the many goals in high school is to graduate. At this school, graduation is guaranteed if the work is put in. Many hours and days of your present life will be taken up by school. But it is important to stay focused on the goal and accomplish it at the end of your high school career.
Social Aspect
Friendship and relationships are important to anyone, especially someone growing and maturing such as a high school student. At this school, there are plenty of other individuals to meet. Your social life can flourish here as this school has a reputation for being open-minded and caring for each and every person that walks through the entrance. The standard here is to be kind to everyone, no matter the situation.
Standard of Kindness
At this school, anything less than kindness and companionship for each other is looked down upon. Every student and staff member is part of a big family here, so we treat everyone as if they were our own family.
(b)
The assignment was to create a leaflet for students entering a new high school. Meaning that the linguistic choices within my response would affect the readers. The effect that is supposed to be given to the audience is one of persuasion. While the students are already going to that high school, the persuasion lies with the experience of the high school. The goal is to show how beneficial and satisfactory the school is. The leaflet I wrote is descriptive, meaning that I’m describing a certain person, place, or object. In this case, I’m describing a place, the high school that the new students are attending. I reference the school in only positive ways. For example, I wrote “Your social life can flourish here as this school has a reputation for being open-minded and caring for each and every person that walks through the entrance”. This sentence specifically, shines a light on the culture of the school and how beneficial it is. The words such as “flourish” and “through the entrance” give an effect towards the reader, this effect is one of support as the sentence shows the student that they are supported at this high school.
AO2:Overall you did well in this section. Your expression is clear but with many simple sentences it does not flow well in some areas. There are not any errors that impede communication. You organized it well to the task breaking it up into multiple short paragraphs. As far as your content, it stays pretty relevant throughout and you did very well relating to the audience.(8 marks)
ReplyDeleteAO3:You did well analyzing your language, however, to make the analysis more detailed you need to add examples of form and structure. You also had a very clear analysis of how your choices relate to the audience.(2 marks)
For this paper under the AO2 I would give them a total of 9 marks. This is due to Matty having a clear expression of language and complex format in his language. He does have occasional errors but not enough to necessarily ruin the structure. An example would be how the sub headers were a little longer and not so much as a leaflet but it still completed its purpose. The audience is also well addressed and completes the purpose of the prompt.
ReplyDeleteNow moving on to the AO3 total i would give 5 marks due to the writer having a clear analysis of form structure and language however has minimal analysis of how the writers stylistic choices relate to audience and meaning. Examples of Matty having clear analysis is when he gives advice to the readers.